Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Ch.. Ch.. Ch.. Ch.. Changes

Officials at media conglomerate were left reeling this week when an inside source revealed the contents of internal correspondence which hinted at big changes afoot for the group's popular websites in the days and weeks to come. When accosted by reporters on leaving a “gentleman’s” club on the south side of Edinburgh, Ned Suderlang, nwtw CEO and President refused to pass comment about the rumours and speculation on the basis that they were totally unsubstantiated and he was too shitfaced on Stella to talk.

The inside source refused to be named but provided this reporter with a tape of an alleged telephone conversation he’d had with Suderlang on Sunday evening that detailed the aforementioned big changes and which confirmed that they were indeed afoot.

Inside Source: “Good evening sir. It’s Stuart calling. You know, from IT? I think we may have a problem.”

Suderlang: “F#cking right we’ve got a problem. I’ve just paid £70 to a Russian burd for some excessive jiggling and your call’s cutting into my entertainment more than her thong’s cutting into her ass.”

Inside Source: “It’s about the websites sir. We have domain and hosting renewal issues which demand decisive and immediate decision making. And money. What should I do?”

Suderlang: “Well for a start you can repeat that again in f#cking English. And cut to the chase.”

Inside Source: “Well sir, I think we should retain the domain name but look to carry out a bit of a redesign in the months to come so that all content is located in one location; with links and tags and RSS feeds and all that other good bollocks.”

Suderlang: “I’m sorry, I’ve got no f#cking idea what you’re talking about but at least you sound like YOU do so get it sorted. And make it cheap. And don’t ever call me here at the club ever again. Ever.”

Fans of both sites are already experiencing changes by way of mysteriously disappearing graphics and some redirection but the inside source assured this reporter that content would still update on the blog site if the writer in question gets off his fat arse long enough to post something.


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