Why Don't You...

…just switch off your television set and go and do something less boring instead?” Remember that theme song? The presenters (granted, they were kids) never seemed to catch on to the irony that they were presenting a television programme during the school holidays that encouraged kids NOT to watch television during the school holidays but instead, go off and make space rockets out of toilet rolls and the like.

And was it just me or did the very early episodes include some mystical creature called “a doris”? My recollection is that it looked a bit like a long furry duster for blinds and shot about the place at incredible speeds. I realise my memories might be warped by spending much of my early years partying with Drew Barrymore but I’d be comforted to learn if anyone else remembers this.

Anyway, got any plans for the four-day holiday weekend? If the weather keeps you in, forget about any fancy blog redesigns and RSS feeds and tags and links and all that other bollocks techie people love to tell you about. Here’s a fun thing to do with your computer instead.

Take a post-it note (any colour), fold it in half (and NO, it doesn’t matter if it’s folded longways or otherwise you OCD freaks), fold it in half again, insert it into the space between the keys on your keyboard and drag it along to the end of the row. Repeat several times for each row and see how much crap comes out the other end.

When I tried this at the weekend, I turned up enough crisps, corn flakes, rice and chocolate sprinkles to keep a small Vietnamese family well fed for an entire week. As for the human hair that emerged, well my pal Bruce has claimed the lot and is weaving himself a nice toupee as we speak.

Nice eh?