Saturday, September 24, 2005

If It's Saturday, It's Gotta Be...


Actually, not so much. Because according to the reputable television news agencies, the so-called hurricane made a swift detour north towards Louisiana last night and we haven’t had the merest hint of wind never mind a drop of rain.

If the truth be told, we’re all a little disappointed not to have seen some exciting hurricane action. So much so in fact that my fabulous, glamorous and esteemed future sister-in-law Kathryn is starting to doubt whether a hurricane even existed in the first place.

She’s starting to put forward various theories of government conspiracies which seem to get more animated in direct proportion to the amounts of Pinot Grigio that are consumed. Funny thing is that I find her rationale more credible with every bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon (NOT Merlot!) that passes my lips. We’ve all seen ‘Capricorn One’ so we know that kind of shit can be arranged at the drop of a hat.

The President has been monitoring the situation for the past day or so from the safe haven of a Colorado mountain but arrived here in Austin with a flurry this afternoon to see the situation first hand. (The situation is 300 miles to the east, allegedly.) He also walked that funny walk of his which always makes me think that his arms are wooden and he missed his calling as a character on ‘Thunderbirds’.

Poor guy though – he’s damned if he does nothing and damned if he’s seen as making political capital out of the situation. If he’d only admit the ‘situation’ is a ruse to enable him to return to his native Texas and finish his ranch vacation, we’d all thank him for his honesty, think no more about it and go on with our lives queuing at gas stations.

Nighty night, y’all.


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