Saturday, June 17, 2006

Unashamedly Smug

The third round of the U.S. Open (it’s a golf tournament) has just concluded. Who do you think shot the lowest round today?

Phil ‘I look like I’ve had a lobotomy’ Mickelson?
Vijay ‘Women should be banned from playing’ Singh?
Ernie ‘Nice weeeeeed man’ Els?
Colin ‘F#ck you’ Montgomerie?
Tiger… no sorry, he’s already gone home.

Nope, the lowest round of the day was shot by ME, as evidenced by the scorecard below. Granted, I was playing in a different tournament several thousand miles away on a course 1,200 yards shorter. But hey; it’s the first time in my life I’ve ever shot under par (that’s a GOOD thing) in a real tournament so I’m pretty f#cking pleased with myself.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get to the emergency room ‘cause I’ve just smashed my big inflated head off the doorframe.


At 18/6/06 8:05 am, Anonymous Deborah said...

I was expecting some inside information on Kenneth 'never heard of him' Ferrie.

Now why do some men sport those funny little mini beards somewhere below the chin with another bit below the lip ... or is it the photo on the bbc website?

Giive me a golfer any day as opposed to a footballer. You're way up on my list now Neil and congratulations for that under par round!

And I can't believe the last European major winner was Paul Laurie way back at Carnoustie. Fingers crossed for one of those Europeans today anyway.

At 18/6/06 8:19 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Incidently why is it that golfers don't seem to know how to use adverbs?
This is Ian 'snappy dresser' Poulter :

.....I've played awesome," said Poulter.

"On the last I was a yard from perfection, I hit the shot I wanted and it was a yard short. I'm hitting it great and feel good and that's the main thing."

Who would you like to see win today? a compatriot?

At 18/6/06 8:25 am, Anonymous deborah said...

Oops, anonymous is only me.

Third and last question, there doesn't seem to be many players out there, is there a set number for each major tournament?

At 18/6/06 10:07 am, Blogger Neil said...

Deborah/anonymous - You make some good points and raise some interesting questions. The mini beards are indeed stupid. Whereas the full goateés are much more distinguished and are in no way a sign of a man with something to hide. Ian Poulter is an Arsenal fan. Enough said? In the US Open, only the top 60 (from a field of 160ish) qualify to play at the weekend. And even though he annoys the hell out of me, I'd love to see Colin Montogomerie win. Anyone but Tiger.

At 18/6/06 12:02 pm, Anonymous deborah said...

Thanks, Neil, and just after posting saw I could easily find the whole leaderboard.
I agree about Monty .... that gloomy side a bit annoying, but me too, I'd love to see him win, if only to get rid of that ridiculous sentence (only good player not to have won a major).
And why is it that I agree wholeheartedly with 'Anyone but Tiger'
What has the poor man done? Is it just that he is so boring to watch?
I think the man with the best swing in the world is Fred Couples, or maybe I just fancy him.
However, living in France, and not having a television, and not being a golfer myself, I can't be too hasty with my opinions on the actual merits of all these fellows. I'm just a fan of this strange game and the extraordinary difficulties of it all.

At 18/6/06 5:53 pm, Blogger The Other Half said...

i'm thinking houston has some nice courses for you to practice on while you're out of work


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