Monday, April 04, 2005

7½ Mile

When I came back from the States a couple of weeks ago I flew with BA. It was terrible. He kept shouting, “You crazy foo’. I ain’t gettin’ on no plane!”

Okay, so I didn’t fly with Mr. T and I didn’t make up that joke. But that joke has just been voted the world’s funniest in a Virgin Radio competition and earned the listener who submitted it £25,000. Less funny is the fact that scores of comedians, professional and otherwise, have since claimed that they were first to think of it. If this was America, law suits would be piling up to settle the matter but in that typically British way, the aggrieved parties have just ‘fired off furious letters’. Now that’s funny.

I was reminded of this story yesterday when I rewrote my ‘to do’ list and added ‘finally download digital photos from past two years’ to my long catalogue of outstanding tasks. Among the many poorly lit photos of my finger covering the lens I came across this gem of my two young nephews Tommy & Fraser engaged in a gripping conversation about cuisine, culture, fashion and life in the 21st century.

Tommy: “Here Fraser, try some of this.”

Fraser: “Whatchu talkin’ about foo’? Canchu see I got ma best white gangsta jacket on here.”

Tommy: “But my Daddy made it. It’s his slant on an old Sicilian pasta dish made with only the best regional herbs and sun dried tomatoes.”

Fraser: “Don’tchu mean tomaytoes?”

Tommy: “Fraz baby, it all sounds like ‘goo gaa blah blah’ to these old dudes anyway. Just chill.”

Fraser: “CHILL? D’you just tell me t’chill? I AM chilled. I’m fricking arctic dude. Cool as a long green vegetable and frosty as a snowman. And right now I’m late for the rappin’ contest so… later dude.

Tommy (sighs): “Ah, kids today. No respect.”


At 4/4/05 12:50 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Fraser is currently speaking with his legal people about your use of his image. Although sporting his white fur, you'll also have noticed that he was wearing his Notorious B.I.B. (Hee he!)


At 4/4/05 11:08 pm, Blogger ropedncr said...

i am amazed that you always can tune into these kinds of conversations (you can probably hear those kinds of whistles that only dogs are supposed to hear, too).

At 5/4/05 1:04 am, Blogger Neil said...

...and it's especially hard to pick out these conversations with all those other voices chattering away in my head!

At 5/4/05 11:46 am, Blogger DC said...


What about the voice that keeps saying " Must buy DC a Pint " ?.

You're a man whose nearly 40-something , and frankly I think you're trying a bit too hard to get down with the kids. You wouldn't want to be too much of the embarrrassing uncle now would you? You should have researched this one a bit more - sun dried tomatoes are so last year - semi dried are where it's at !

'appy cooking !



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