Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Tartan Kilts 4

One of my poorest fashion decisions ever (among many) was the time I found myself staggering down Lothian Road in Edinburgh (or Edinbororo for you Americans) at 3am on a cold Sunday morning dressed only in a toga. I say toga, but a poorly wrapped, patterned bedsheet would be a more accurate description. The reason for this garment choice has long since left me but I’m sure it had something to do with beer or a girl or Halloween or a party; or perhaps it was just Spring Break Baby Yeah, Woo Hoo, Look At Me, I’m A Dick.

The Edinburgh bars and clubs were in the midst of spewing their drunken customers on to the streets and I had to run a gauntlet of abuse and ridicule for my attire, probably because I’d forgotten to accessorise the ensemble properly with leather sandals and a headband of olive leaves.

Fast forward some twenty years or so to last Saturday and one of my best fashion decisions ever – wearing my kilt in downtown Austin. The occasion was the celebration dinner for the engagement of my brother Keith and his fiancé Kathryn (see ‘very cool’ references from yesterday) and all four Sutherland men were resplendent in the Clan tartan, turning many a head as we strode confidently down 4th Street to our restaurant.

Check out those guys in the skirts,” commented the young college dudes out on dates but they were quickly questioning their own masculinity when their girlfriends said how sexy we looked.

Our appearance also seemed to start something of a geographical debate about where exactly in the world we were from.

St. Paddy’s Day is next week dude,” said one guy helpfully.

By which time you’ll be coming out of surgery,” I replied as my fist connected with his nose, or would have done had I not strode on muttering under my breath.

I should have unleashed the punch instead on an annoying Cockney geezer when he (surprise, surprise) bellowed loudly, “It’s like bloody Brave’art out ‘ere.” Twat.

My favourite though, was the confused young lady on a stool in our last bar stop of the night, The Ginger Man, who made a double take and screeched to her friends, “Oh ma Gaaad, he’s from Germany!” She must have detected the air of efficiency in my walk and the side-splitting humour so prevalent among our Euro neighbours.

Anyway, before I offend any other cultures or nationalities here’s a not-so-efficient little photo to give you a splash of tartan colour.


At 17/3/05 8:47 am, Blogger DC said...


I think the toga ( a good look at 3am staggering down Lothian Road )had something to do with all four,and possibly more, attractions.

The Sutherland "boys" certainly do look resplendent, and it's not hard to see why heads were turned in downtown Austin - as they would be most anywhere, and for any number of reasons.

Is it just me as a typical Scot who thinks that the most annoying comment came from one of our loudmouthed, obnoxious, southern cousins - no offence.

Perhaps the German confusion came,not from your highly developed sense of humour, drunkeness, or insistance on putting a towel on your bar stool - but from the lederhosen worn under the kilt!

Cheers, DC

At 17/3/05 4:55 pm, Blogger McSporran said...

A fine blog but the photo had me pondering one thing. Are you growing that long mane of yours as a replacement weave for your sporran (which looked a bit threadbare - a bit like my own coupon I am afraid).
Answers on a postcard please to..

At 17/3/05 6:28 pm, Blogger DC said...


The verdict of the Campbell household on your hairdo is not good.

_ "he looks like someone from Braveheart" - here's a clue -it's not Mel Gibson.

- "It's a bloody mess, you better have a word with him "

- " He looks like that guy on Black Books " - that'll be Bill Bailey then ,the well known hunka hunka burnin' lurve.

- "Stuart looks like our Doctor"

_ " Complete bombscare"

I think that'll do for now, don't you?



At 18/3/05 5:38 pm, Blogger Neil said...

Thanks very much for the styling tips boys. Coming, as they do, from your good selves, I take your comments very seriously and will be taking corrective action as soon as I return to Scotland next weekend. A perm perhaps?

At 21/3/05 12:09 pm, Blogger Green Glass Beads said...

The photo is too dark for me to admire your hair, alas, but do nothing without the advice of a woman (believe it or not there is an old irish saying that states that!).
Anyhow. German comments probably have more to do with your fine blonde(ish) looks, and as for the Paddy's day comment, well everyone should know that the Irish wear kilts too. Fact, that is. I'd too wear one in feckin' school. Speaking of which, what colour is you kilt?

At 21/3/05 12:15 pm, Blogger Neil said...

The advice I'd get from a woman would probably be "hurry up and get your hair chopped, I need to buy shoes!"

My kilt is mainly dark green with some red and navy strands through it. Very classy and not in the least like those on the sides of shortbread tins.


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