Tuesday, March 01, 2005

EXCLUSIVE! neilwritestheworld merchandise!

In a press conference held late last night, executives at neilwritestheworld.com unveiled their new spring line of website merchandise, soon to be made available at all good clothing stores and some rubbish ones as well.

Eager to sign up a major celebrity to endorse this groundbreaking collection, neilwritestheblog.blogspot.com can exclusively reveal that Danny from “The Kids From Fame” has put pen to paper – a doodle of a doughnut was the result – and is seen below modeling the Mens white T, size XXXL, priced $19.99 (tea cozy and Noel Gallagher jacket not included).


“This is an exciting time for everyone involved in the company,” said Ned Suderlang, neilwritestheworld CEO and President for life. “Danny is someone who exudes all the brand values to which we at neilwritestheworld aspire. We’re confident that he’ll become our… ahem… ‘Starmaker’, ha, ha, ha!”

The press conference ended in scenes of chaos and confusion as Stuart Sutherland, one-time website wizard and alleged brains behind the company, was seen being dragged kicking and screaming from the room.

“This trivial initiative is a joke and a humiliating waste of my time and talent,” he screeched, “but I’m still available for all types of freelance internet work.”

The full line of merchandise will be available by the end of this month including a glossy, adults-only “Neil’s Secret” catalogue that is rumoured to include Danny in nothing but his neilwritestheworld boxers, thongs and white woolly vests. Form an orderly queue ladies.

12 Comments:

At 1/3/05 11:15 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This trivial initiative is a joke and a humiliating waste of my time and talent. Where's the trademark neilwritestheworld two-shade minimalism? Where's the 21st century neo-punk, DIY, graffiti ethic that drove the company through that tough first year? But I AM still available for all types of freelance internet work.

Stuart

 
At 2/3/05 10:45 am, Blogger DC said...

Soaps,
This is indeed an exciting time.I don't think it will just be ladies who'll be interested in your most recent venture - is xxxl the smallest available size ?

When I first saw the photo I thought that you'd hired a stunningly handsome male fashion model at the top of his profession. However ,on closer inspection I then thought that Freemans may not have called for a couple of years.Are you sure this is the real Danny ? I can see some resemblance,but it's hard to tell,what with the hat, beerbelly & double chins - looks like he's not given up on his timeless classic hairdo though.

I'd like to wish you every success on this one - if you need any fashion tips let me know - although Big " That's how they're wearing them" Al might prove inspirational.

I'm sure you'll be disappointed that I haven't been in touch over the Oscar season - I'll rectify once I've read all your ramblings.Looking ahead however, is Greyfriars Bobby a likely contender next year- and does your HMV theory apply to your sideburns ?

Cheers,
DC

 
At 2/3/05 2:59 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi,
As a big Fame fan I was really pleased to see this - Danny seems to improved with age ( and he was already quite a dreamboat when he was younger)- he must be one of the coolest mature white men on his planet.

 
At 2/3/05 3:12 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Despite being the only resident on HIS planet, Danny only just qualifies as the coolest.

 
At 2/3/05 3:21 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's he gawking at? Can he not see where the camera is from under his teacosy?

Greenglassgrrr

 
At 2/3/05 3:24 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He knows where the camera is but he's looking wistfully into the distance... like a professional catalogue model should.

N

 
At 2/3/05 7:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As Danny's agent this has been advertised without prior consent or negotiation of fees, please rectify this immediately or you will be hearing from our lawyer.

 
At 2/3/05 7:07 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a signed doodle from Danny. See you in court.

Ned

 
At 2/3/05 10:12 pm, Blogger DC said...

Soaps,

You've stirred it up good and proper - congratulations!

You've betrayed your brother's artistic vision, made some sad Fame fan happy & are now facing a court case - anything I can do to help, just let me know.

DC

 
At 3/3/05 6:23 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to see this doodle posted as Danny has a very unusual signature and I can prove it's a forgery dun dun dun!!!!!

 
At 4/3/05 6:25 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you're implying that I obtained Danny's signature after plying him with alcohol during a sleepover at my Neverland ranch, then a countersuit will be heading your way faster than you can say "Beat It!"

Ned

 
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