Friday, April 15, 2005

The Signals are BACK!... sort of

At a press conference held early this morning, executives at unveiled their exciting new partnership with international, face-melting rock legends The Signals. Often thought to have disappeared during the 90s in a hazy haze of scandal and rehab, The Signals have, in fact, being living quiet, suburban lives under the Rock Preservation Protection Programme. So why the reappearance now under the white heat of rock’s spotlight?

Since The Signals took time off to pursue… ahem… recreational pursuits, music has died a death,” explained Ned Suderlang, neilwritestheworld CEO and President for life, “not counting Oasis and Radiohead, of course… oh, and that new U2 record is pretty good… and I really like Keane and Snow Patrol… and you just HAVE to get hold of the new Embrace cd… and then there’s the recent gems from Green Day, Maroon 5, Feeder, Alicia Keyes, Damien Rice, The Zutons… but APART from all these great new acts, music has died a death since The Signals disappeared. So it’s… eh… great to have them back.”

During a three-year period of unparalleled creativity towards the end of the 1980s, The Signals released two albums of breathtaking audacity; the critically acclaimed debut “Familiar Scenes” (“It’s the best thing my son’s ever recorded” said Rita Campbell in 1985) and the much copied, multi platinum follow up “Days To Come”.

However, previously unreleased recordings have been unearthed by the boffins in the neilwritestheworld R&D department and a re-mastered, special edition collection of twenty of their greatest songs is now available through

The band themselves did not attend the Edinburgh press conference but in a live, satellite link to his home on the west coast, drummer ‘Handsome’ Doug Grant said, “We’re f’n over the moon like about this new venture with I huvnae actually spoke wae any of they other f#ckers in aboot ten years but I’m sure they’d agree that this is no just a f’n cynical attempt to make money on some kinda f’n nostalgia trip. We’re doing it for the kids, the fans who’s f’n stuck wae us throughout. It’s aw aboot the fans, ken?”

Preliminary artwork for the new album was revealed at the press conference and uses Alex Burt’s classic shot from 1984. When asked about the scurrilous rumour that he had to stand on a box during this photo shoot, bass player Donald Campbell’s answer was inaudible despite this interviewer bending over considerably to try and catch the wee shortarse’s reply.

The Very Best of The Signals is ONLY available through (and ebay eventually) and in a bold marketing move, executives are asking fans to e-mail their orders directly to where they can then negotiate a very reasonable price (including postage and packing) directly with the band. In the words of ‘Handsome’ Doug, “It’s aw aboot the fans, ken?”

Track List

1. Better Than You
2. I Never Knew
3. Give Me The Word
4. Here To Stay
5. Days To Come
6. Ballroom Of Romance
7. Running Through The Shadows
8. Restless Sleep
9. Cold Light Of Day
10. Release A Heart
11. The Promise Of Love
12. Every Day (Live)
13. Ten Cents A Dance (Live)
14. Crazy (Live)
15. We’ve Got The Will But Its Hard To Find The Way (Live)
16. Not Such A Lonely Place (Live)
17. Never Stop Loving You
18. To Hurt Somebody
19. Don’t Want You Back Here No More
20. It Feels Like The First Time Again


At 16/4/05 1:24 am, Blogger DC said...


Sounds great - can I get a copy- I think £15 is a reasonable price.

I think the handsome bassman only stood on a box at the insistance of ace photographer Alex Burt, in the interests of " composition" -not because he is 4 foot tall. In any case the box was only 3 foot high - 1 foot higher than his platform boots.

Good to see that Doug's linguistic skills have improved 300%.

Lets Rock,


At 16/4/05 12:48 pm, Blogger DC said...


correction , I meant £1.50


At 22/4/05 8:46 am, Blogger DC said...


Was just looking at this again - who's the young blond bloke on the extreme left ?

You're the long haired one in the middle, right? It's a bit hard to tell without your trademark goatee, but you were probably about 12 at the time.


At 22/4/05 8:51 am, Blogger DC said...


how are sales going? Has the close call with the site lost you millions? Does this mean I'll never get that pint? What's the pint score these days anyroad. I bet you a pint that you can't remember.


At 28/4/05 10:22 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a bit confused...what's happening?Is this all real...explain explain, cos your emails made no mention of this. Is this the merchandise I have been waiting for that my postman robbed? Is that photo for real? Scarey Mary!


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