Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Website Disaster Averted

Panic and uncertainty swept through the internet community earlier today when popular website went tits up for a while, or ‘offline’ for the more technically minded among you. Staff at the neilwritestheworld helpline struggled to cope with the volume of calls as quite literally hundreds of thousands of desperate and fear stricken readers and subscribers tried to register their shock and awe.

It was worrying for a while there, certainly,” said Concerned of Edinburgh who didn’t want to be named due to his other, less appropriate internet activities. “I was very sceptical when the help line staff said that everything was being done to rectify matters. But then the nice-sounding wee lassie said ‘Don’t worry Mr A. Dougal, I’ll personally see to your interactive needs’, so I knew everything was going to be just peachy.”

Callers from as far away as Texas, America relayed similar stories of waking to find a severed online lifeline. “‘Sup dude?” asked a Ms K Jarrett sleepily when she finally got through on the helpline. “I had like a whole thirty minute unit pencilled in today for reading my favourite website. And now it’s like turned my entire day upside down on its head, so to speak, if you will. I’m going back to bed. Later dude.”

Ned Suderlang, neilwritestheworld CEO and President assured the worldwide audience that the problem was merely a glitch. “Our techy boffins have underlined that our site has had a 99.5% ‘up time’, whatever the hell that means, over the past twelve months. We don’t operate a blame culture here at neilwritestheworld but it was definitely the fault of those web host hacker hooligan types, no question. Heads will roll.”

Suderlang went on to say that the helpline will be closed tomorrow for “staff training” so if some similar event occurs then it will be somebody else’s fault, obviously.


At 21/4/05 5:27 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's back up now boss. Apparently somebody hadn't been paying the hosting bills!!!


At 22/4/05 8:40 am, Blogger DC said...

Phew, that was close Soaps.I hadn't actually noticed mind.

I'm sure your worldwide fan base will not hold your singular ineptitude against you - Mr N. " Wisnae Me " Sutherland.



At 28/4/05 10:24 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wisnae me


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