Tuesday, June 07, 2005

It's Official, I Am Abi Titmuss!

It all started innocently enough. A little home experiment with technology that was never meant to get a public airing and before you know it there’s a scandal, a court case and an endless line of topless, but highly paid, modeling gigs.

If anyone out there doesn’t know who Abi Titmuss is (and I can’t believe I just wrote that) here is the short, and probably factually innaccurate, version of her story.

Girl becomes nurse. Nurse becomes girlfriend of Scottish TV presenter. Scottish TV presenter implicated in alleged rape of Swedish TV presenter. Nurse girlfriend vows to remain loyal to Scottish TV presenter during police investigation. Scottish TV presenter cleared of all allegations. Nurse girlfriend dumps Scottish TV presenter after home sex video released on internet. Former nurse becomes “glamour” model and appears constantly on every cover of every UK magazine. Former nurse currently starring on television with other "celebrities" in ITV reality show “Celebrity Love Island”.

Despite being honest enough to say she’s trying to make as much as she can during the short time that the media spotlight is likely to shine upon her, Abi has had some ruthless and spiteful kickings at the hands of the more morally outraged press in the past couple of years. Personally, I think she’s about attractive as my breakfast breaded goods but more power to her if people want to buy the magazines, read the exclusives and watch the television output.

The fascination with celebrity culture now seems to permeate all corners of our society and has even reached the blogging community. The other day I was casting an eye over the “Blogs Of Note”, a list of blog sites that Blogger regularly highlight as worthy of a browse. To be recognised in this way certainly seems to get a lot of people looking at your site as evidenced by the number of comments readers leave on the postings. See the excellent, but sadly deceased “The Darth Side” as an example.

I noticed a new “blog of note” called “Blogebrity” which I think is part of some project to see just how quickly a new blog/internet initiative can grow and expand. In truth, my clued up brother Stuart - available for all types of freelance internet work - gave me a more technical explanation of this phenomenon but all I heard was “blah blah blog blah blah project blah blah world domination”.

Blogebrity has lists of bloggers categorised as either A-list, B-list or C-list and they invite anyone out there to get in touch if they want to be added to a list. I haven’t yet seen an explanation of the criteria used to be included on a list but undaunted, I turned off my Abi sex video long enough to fire up my e-mail and drop them a brief note, the exact transcript of which is replicated below.

“I'd like to be on one of your lists please. Don't mind if it's a grocery list or a hit list, I'm easily pleased. Keep up the good work. Regards, Neil.”

Two days later, the exact content of their even briefer reply read “Congrats, you've made the "B" list.”

Now I have little or no concept of what this will mean but I suppose it’s nice to have your name on a list other than one entitled “Expendable Employees” or “Top 5 Boyfriends – What Was I Thinking?” However if someone tells me I now have to expose my large white baps on the front cover of next week’s “Heat” magazine then that’s a whole different ball game… so to speak.


At 8/6/05 9:30 pm, Blogger carl said...

What! I'm shocked, you'll show us YOUR baps...but not even a glimpsof dear little mis-managed Abi. Where is your desire to help your fellow man! Pish-posh!!!

At 11/6/05 12:22 pm, Blogger DC said...


now youv'e made theZ list I've sent a candid picture of you to Heat magazine.If they print it I'll get a fiver- woo-hoo!


At 11/6/05 12:28 pm, Blogger Neil said...

Not the photo of my large ass breaking a chair, please!

At 29/9/06 11:55 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're not Abi Titmuss! I'm Abi Titmuss! And my blog is http://www.totallytitmuss.com take a look if you fancy it!

At 7/3/08 6:58 am, Anonymous Sanjay said...

This is a nice photo she is very handsame guy for love me all guys.


Post a Comment

<< Home