Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Karma's Gonna Getcha

Seven hours sitting on a plane next to a girl with a six-month old daughter does not a restful night’s sleep make. But that’s a whole other story and one best kept for a time when I’m awake enough to tpye proper on ths keybroad.

For now, let me just say that no sooner did I arrive home to wet and windy Scotland – all the while chortling about what a hoot it’d been waiting for, and then being disappointed by, the non arrival of Hurricane Rita – but I was greeted with this scene of carnage and destruction in my back garden.

I’m telling you, Mother Nature's out there watching, listening and checking off names of people who have gone and done her wrong; people with no respect for her standing and the awesome power (dude) she could unleash at any time; people, in other words, like me.

The ironic thing is that the back garden fence devastation almost landed on my recycling bins. GODDAMIT MOTHER NATURE, CAN’T YOU SEE I’M DOING MY BIT?

So I say to Mother Nature, I’ll see your back garden fence devastation tactics, and I’ll raise you a very funny joke sent to me my fabulous future sister-in-law Kathryn who in turn, received this shocking and gut wrenching photograph of the hurricane damage in Houston from her friend Paige who happens to live in Houston.

If you have young children with you in front of your monitor, steer them away from the screen now.

This is NOT pretty.

Have you braced yourself?

Scroll down at your peril.

And don’t sue me for any lingering trauma.

Call or fold Mother Nature… if you think you’re hard enough?


At 29/9/05 11:00 am, Blogger McSporran said...

Your fence photo brings up 2 comments....
a) If it was mother nature then it does serve you right, although with all the travelling you have done in the past few years you really have to give her credit for locating the homestead.
b) The suspicious presence of a football hints at the absence of mother nature and the presence of scallywags farting about in your back garden while you mock the wind.
I am inclined to go with b) especially now you are a media superstar with your "Record deal".

At 29/9/05 9:22 pm, Blogger Neil said...

Yes I'm sure you're right Tommy - scallywags up to who knows what kind of tomfoolery is obviously the cause of the carnage. And NOT, of course, a 40 something has-been footballer trying to break his keepie-uppie record of 19... cos that would invalidate any insurance claim.

At 30/9/05 1:16 pm, Anonymous Wee Man said...

When did your keepie-up record move on to the 19 mark ? And anyway why were YOU doing the keepie-up ? I though the ball always did the work ....

At 30/9/05 5:48 pm, Blogger Neil said...

Who said it was MY keepie-uppie record? (See reference to invalidating insurance claim.) However, hypothetically, if it had been me then you're absolutely right - I would've passed it to the non-existent team mate in my back garden and then I would've sat down for a smoke.


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