Thursday, February 02, 2006

More Cowbell

I returned home from Engerland late last night and found the following letter lying behind my front door. It was from “Scotland’s top concert venue”, the S.E.C.C. (Scottish Exhibition & Conference Centre) which is something of a bare faced lie since it’s not even the top concert venue within a 500 yard radius of itself. It said,

Dear Mr Sutherland (promising start)

(10 days away. Trouble with ticket sales?)

After a whole year off from UK gig appearances, the most glamorous rockers in the entire universe return to Scotland… and what a show it promises to be…

2004’s sell out shows caught Justin Hawkins flying through the air on a giant white Bengal tiger above the crowd…
(Is there a shortage of periods/full stops in Glasgow?) Twice the glitter and three times the madness, the forthcoming show on 12 February at the SECC will see Justin riding high on a giant boob-shaped chariot as he takes to the stage for opening number ‘knockers’!

Justin says, “We don’t want to ruin all the surprises but I’m particularly proud of this creation. We’ve really gone to town with the stage set.”

Complete with blow-the-budget pyrotechnics, lights and sound, this show will be one of the most talked about shows of 2006… and it’s only February!!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???

Not wishing to appear rude, I wrote “HELL TO FREEZE OVER” on the bottom and posted it back.


At 3/2/06 7:26 pm, Anonymous wendi said...

haven't you heard that writing in red scars people for life? i'm permanently scarred..;-)~

At 4/2/06 1:05 am, Blogger Neil said...

Don't you mean that writing in blood scars people for life? The colour I used was Tuscan Sunset, not red.

At 4/2/06 2:11 am, Anonymous wendi said...

no...i mean the reason teachers can't write in red over here anymore..ok...tuscan sunset..scars gone


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