Fashion... Police... Part 1

It’s March… it’s a Monday… so it must be time for another of our thrilling instalments of “The Police: The Luteless Years… ‘N All That”. This was going to be a glossy twelve-page, Hello-type centrefold spread looking at the key fashion milestones of the 80s but I think we’ll save that for our rousing conclusion at the end of the month.

Instead, let me give you a quick glimpse of the kind of pop memorabilia that money just can’t buy… unless you’ve got enough to build yourself a time machine and go back to the 80s to scoop the whole lot for ten shillings and a half crown.

The garment below is hanging over the back of the chair in which I sit, currently, to type this tale of the garment below, hanging, as it does, over the back of my chair. As you can see, it was once a denim jacket of some description (I want to say Wrangler but I suspect it might be M&S) which suffered the same fate as many of the upper torso items of clothing I owned in the 80s - it was rendered sleeveless. Undoubtedly this was done to cope with the endless Scottish summers of my childhood, back in the days before Al Gore invented global warming and caused it to p#ss down constantly, thereby ensuring we’d all stay indoors and play with the interweb which he also invented.

As you can see, my Mum was thoughtful enough to sew my name on to the back of the jacket to remind me that my name wasn’t Sting. Or Flame Boy. But I think I did most of the other patch-sewing myself including, you’ll notice, the Honda and Yahama patches on the shoulders to imply to girls that I might have a motor cycle and could therefore sweep them away to California – or Bathgate – at a moment’s notice, long blond mullets trailing behind us in the wind as we rode. Like the wind.

And the jacket ensemble is completed by my collection of priceless badges of The Police, most of which enjoyed a healthy rotation on the generous lapels of my school blazer during the heady years between 1979 and 1982. Thankfully, I was out of short trousers by this point or else, clearly, I would just have looked ridiculous. Ha, ha, ha.

Next week: The records. Still got that rare, cobalt-blue flexi disc of ‘Roxanne’ from the front cover of Smash Hits? You have? But is it the Japanese, 10” import version with the alternate picture cover and ‘Can’t Stand Losing You’ as the B-side? Thought not.

P.S. If you’re getting bored of all this nostalgia about The Police… well… that’s just tough t#tties but at least it’ll quieten down at the end of the month. However, if you’re keen to learn more, YOU MUST get a hold of this brilliant documentary which I obtained and watched at the weekend. Some music films claim to be fly-on-the-wall efforts but when the film is shot, directed, produced, edited and scored by one of the band members, then you’re truly invited into the inner sanctum. Absolutely f#cking brilliant!