Friday, July 11, 2008

Market Research Consumer Survey-Type Thing 3

Long term readers of this website may recall that on occasion (here and here for example) I like to garner your valued opinion about certain things so that I can alter my lifestyle accordingly to be more fulfilled / interesting / like you. Some may speculate that this is just a less-than-subtle way of finding out if anyone actually still reads this stuff and also to compensate for my severe shortcomings in areas such as ‘hit counters’, ‘pings’, ‘twitters’, RSS feeds, cookies and all that other mind-boggling interweb stuff. To those people I say simply, “let them eat cake”. (Or should that just be “eat cake” since I appear to be addressing them directly without the assistance of a third party intermediary?)

Anyway, here’s your chance to…

a) tell me that you’re still out there AND

b) play a crucial and influential role in how my life will unfold and shape up for the rest of 2008. And by “unfold and shape up”, I mean, of course, “score big with the ladies”.

Your task is this. For a while now (13 or so years) I’ve sported longish hair (and yes, as you can see from the photo at the top of the page, it has sometimes wavered on the edge of mulletdom... what of it? Eh? EH?) together with a trim but increasingly greying goatee beard.

However, this summer after careful consideration (i.e. I got drunk one night and agreed with a work colleague who suggested “it might be a good idea”) I’ve had my hair cut to its shortest length since 1974 and I’ve shaved off my beard. But I’m really, REALLY missing my facial hair and I’m THIS CLOSE to growing it back again and I might go for something different so I’d like your help in choosing the look that will “score big etc. etc.”

Now don’t scroll down too quickly because all you have to do is peruse the five options below - WHOA THERE… I said DON’T scroll down yet! - and leave a little comment as to which you think might net the desired results. To minimise the amount of effort required on your part, they’re all numbered so you can simply leave the requisite number as a comment. As always, any additional feedback you care to offer will be very gratefully received. And then probably ignored... NO, just kidding!

I’m going to be busy next week so won’t be posting anything else here for ten days or so (who said ‘what’s new’?) to give you time to make a considered choice. The option with most votes will obviously win and if that happens to agree with my current favourite, then a prize may be forthcoming.

Right then…

Are you ready…???


Okay, scroll away…


At 11/7/08 7:38 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If we can't go back to what you had before I kinda like no 4 but I like the retro disco porn king look, will you be sporting the full chest rug complete with medallion ?

At 11/7/08 7:41 am, Blogger Neil said...

Your suggested ensemble look is much easier to arrange than you might imagine...

At 11/7/08 7:42 am, Blogger Duey said...

Wow, 5 choices and we only can pick one? I'd have to go with #5. You could also change your name to Athos, Porthos, Aramis or D'Artagnan. You know what they say, Big Sabre, Big Sheath!

#4 reminds me of the biker guy in the Village People (ehh, err), #3 gives you a strong sense of power but could end badly for you, something about a bunker and not the ones on the golf course, #2 is so Fred Durst and #1, with your blonde hair (v the dark black mock-up) may just look odd and almost non-existent.

So all for one and one for all!

At 11/7/08 6:53 pm, Blogger Donald said...


What a difficult one. With the exception of #1 which is a bit Peter Sutcliffe I like them all.I'm not sure about the voting system , but I'd choose a combo of #2 & #3.I don't know Fred Durst , but soulfull cool meeting European elegance I think would work..

Good luck.


At 13/7/08 4:57 pm, Blogger Kell said...

Definitely #5. Then you could speak in a French accent and wear a cape.

At 13/7/08 6:21 pm, Blogger Neil said...

Brian - what the hell were you doing commenting in the middle of the night?!? Oh that's right... you're a father now. I obviously can't say which one's my favourite but thanks for your vote... *wink*

Donald - Call yourself a hard-rockin' rock dude?! Fred Durst was in 'nu metal' band Limp Bizket. Get with the programme mate!

Kell - Hi there! How the hell are you? Thanks for YOUR vote also (*wink*). Maybe I put #5 in there 'cause I ALREADY wander around with a cape speaking French?!?

At 14/7/08 9:57 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...


No. 4!! Do it! And how come you didn't win the golf?! Was it due to lack of facial hair? Hope it was a good day none-the-less. The Algarve was tremendous. Catch up soon.


At 14/7/08 5:11 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Has to be #5.

If you are going to change career and become a crazy jazz cat then #2 (must remember to buy bongos) or #4 if you sing like Freddie Mercury. What's #3 all about!?!?

At 15/7/08 8:36 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...


There's an old Yorkshire saying that goes...'Never grow on thee face that which grows wild around thee arse'.

Good advice mate. Take heed.



At 15/7/08 8:47 am, Blogger Sporran Tickler said...

I would recommend an amalgam of soul and muketeer. i.e. soul below the lips and musketeer (well 'tache) above. This would be my own fh of choice

At 15/7/08 10:08 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you should have warned me that was coming - I totally regret not doing my pelvic floor exercises now! There´s a wee spanish wifie mopping under my chair and I´m at risk of tripping over the áttentione wet floor´sign on my way out! I prefer the raw version! - aka, bald face

At 16/7/08 8:14 am, Blogger Neil said...

Pooch- welcome home, missed you loads. I'll grow no.4 if you do likewise? Oh, and wee Kev pure cheated me out of the golf...

Norm - like your style... always thinking about how these things will play out on stage.

Fergie - WTF? Is that the same Yorkshire Yoda who declared "don't eat t'yellow snow"?

Tommy - Your mix and match has shot straight to the top of my favourites list. Thank you and catch up soon.

Morv - classy as always. When it comes to you, I don't think I've ever used the phrase "well I'll just leave that to my imagination then". Refreshing. Oh, and come home soon. x

At 22/7/08 4:18 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Random vote from a female "reader/peeker" across the Atlantic....I like #1.

Seems to suit the personality I've imagined from your writings.

A little bold with a touch of soul.

At 24/7/08 7:20 am, Blogger Neil said...

Thank you anonymous female reader/peaker. It's funny how your imagination conjures up personalities... I'd assumed you're in the States (and then speculated I might have met you unknowingly during one of my many trips there) but then realised you might equally be in Canada / Brazil / Argentina / Barbados / the Falklands or perhaps Greenland. Are you an eskimo?

At 1/8/08 2:43 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't grow any more facial hair. You look 6 months younger without it.

your market research bro


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