The Future Is Coming

Next week I am on holiday and since the f#cking rain in Scotland appears likely to continue until such times as the polar ice caps melt and we all grow gills to enable us to survive in Waterworld, I could be spending a considerable amount of time in the house, staring out the window and watching my grass grow past the six-foot mark.

However, this is good news for both readers of this website because when I’ve finished with all the window-staring, I’m going to attempt to make some changes to the underlying website “template” to drag it (kicking and screaming, no doubt) into the 21st century. I don’t want to give too much away just now but let’s just say that when you both come back to see the differences in September, make sure you’re sitting down because digital lightening bolts will fly directly out of your computer screen to stimulate every one of your six senses and byte you (see what I did there with the funny computer-related word?) on the ass.

Here’s a hint of what’s on my to-do list…

Photos: Following my recent World’s Greatest Uncle™ road trip, I have great photos of the World’s Four Cutest Kids™ which are gonna make you go “ooh” and “ahhh” and “honey, get upstairs to the bedroom NOW!”

Music: Although I know this whole iPod madness is just a big flash in the pan, I’m going to indulge the hysteria by converting a few classic vinyl and cassette recordings to some kind of digital format, “empathree” is it? This will include some long-lost and recently-discovered recordings made by The Signals for their never-completed and “difficult” third album. Get ready to “download”.

Toys: Two weeks ago I bought the greatest, electric-powered indulgence a boy could ever hope to possess. Get ready to scream with pleasure because I will share this with you next week.

Video: No longer will you have to stare longingly at that picture of me in the green t-shirt at the top of this page and wonder how much I’ve aged since it was taken in 2003. I have another toy which will confirm that I walk (if my groin ever heals) and talk, sometimes simultaneously. Get ready to cock your head to one side, sigh and say, “Aw, look at him wearing his new glasses… so cute!”

So, an exciting few days in prospect and a lot to get through and I’m looking forward to getting started. Either that or the sun will return and I’ll just go out and play golf all week.