Thursday, November 05, 2009

Something For The Weekend 51

Dear Dave,

How the hell are you mate? It’s certainly been a while since we spoke / drank / scrapbooked together and I trust this finds you and your lovely new wife *sigh* in good health and humour. I know I’ve been highly remiss in writing to you lately, and I could offer a bunch of inappropriate excuses such as chair-spinning (I have a chair that goes round. I like to “spin” on it. A LOT.) or cat-spooking (f*cking cat next door used to p*ss on my lawn... but no more... not since the I “tooled up” up with the “catzooka”, or “water pistol”, as the guy in the store feebly described it) but the truth is that I just got lazy.

It’s not my fault of course. It’s The Facebook, with its seductive charms and utterly riveting insights about what life’s like tending a farm or running a cake shop or carrying out a hit on the Calzone family. I’ve tried many times to break free of its whorish clutches but every time I roll off the couch with the intention of sitting upright and writing something more comprehensive, The Facebook is standing there in the doorway, dressed only in the skimpiest of home pages and flashing it’s cute little box, big enough for just a couple of sentences and a flirty semi-colon or two. Slut. Too easily I succumb to her temptations, caressing my fingers across her keyboard to deliver the quick hit she craves so badly. And then I have a nap. Or a smoke.

Anyway, all of this laziness means I haven’t managed much of the upright-sitting recently, far less the outside-venturing-to-see-if-it’s-winter yet, but here are a few cultural nuggets I can “get on your radar”, as the suits in our little company love to hear themselves say so much.

Lying prone on a couch for hours on end gives you a lot of time to think of all your hopes and dreams for the future, as well as contemplate your insignificant existence in this big beautiful world. But luckily, the commercials soon end and you can get back to watching ‘FlashForward’ (why the hell is it one word with a FRICKIN’ CAPITAL LETTER IN THE MIDDLE?) and decide how many weeks you’re going to endure the awful dialogue and over-earnest acting...

Culturally Diverse Boss: “So are you trying to tell me the entire world lost consciousness for blah blah time period and caught a glimpse of their future in six months time?”
Angsty Special Agent: “Crazy as it sounds...” *cue, smell-the-fart acting* “...yeah!”

It’s a great premise and I’m really only sticking with it because the future date that everyone’s so hung up about – April 29th 2010 – is my birthday. On which date, by the way, I know exactly where I’ll be and what I’ll be doing... Orlando, Florida celebrating with Team Edge having just successfully retained the MB Cup. I know you know what THAT’S like... *sigh*... ah, Myrtle Beach.

Anyway, if you’re not caught up in the FF hype, check out '30 Rock' on Comedy Central, by far the best show on tv.

“Up”... Pixar... 3D... awesome! Says it all...

I haven’t invested in much new music in the past few months but when I was in Texas recently (did I mention I went to Texas? Golf, Beer, Barbeque, Football, Cookie Crunch... fantastic!) I picked up the latest Wilco album called, curiously, “Wilco (the album)”. They’re a kind of Crowded House from Chicago and although I’ve found some of their earlier efforts, frankly, unlistenable (the rehab years?) this album’s pretty good. Here’s a sample called, curiously, “Wilco (the song)”.

Finally Dave, the only thing you really need to know about this coming weekend is that The Signals are back and will be playing live at Behind The Wall in Falkirk on Saturday night, ploughing their own unique brand of both rock and roll. The band are in good shape – “round” is a shape, right? – and are looking forward to another epic two and a half hour show, including some previously unheard material. On a personal note, I shall be wearing a previously unseen pair of very cool Texan cowboy boots which I’m hoping will go well my denim M&S waistcoat and large sombrero from the 1980 High School trip to Tarragona. All I need now is a pair of arseless leather chaps and I’ll finally be able to add Erasure’s catchy “Oh, L’amour” to the set list. Which reminds me... can I borrow yours?




At 6/11/09 9:39 am, Blogger auntiegwen said...

Have you started smoking again?

Tut tut, filthy habit, wouldn't catch me doing that.

xxxx x

At 7/11/09 3:04 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Neil, make sure you get those boots properly scuffed up and all rock and roll like for the gig-big fella/dude/bro/captain....


At 7/11/09 9:03 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

how nice to hear from you! It's been too long.

At 7/11/09 8:13 pm, Blogger Lena said...

I don't believe it! Casino are having their EP launch in BTW on the same night you guys are in Firkins! I'll be running between venue's then since they're almost in the same street! Or you can pop along if times suit!

And Neil - we know you've had a bad case of facebook fever but you're not quite at this bloke's level (at his Halloween party) - or are you...?

At 22/11/09 7:41 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Tremendous to hear from you. It's been a while. Can't even remember the last time I caught up with you over a pizza and beer. Far too long.

Anyway, hope things good with you. I've been busy - Lyn and I bought a house. Still in Edinburgh. We move on the 4th Dec. Can't wait. Have been watching much Home Improvement to ensure I pick up as mnay DIY tips from Tim the toolman Taylor as possible. More Power!

Other than that, busy as chuff at work. And that's all I'll say about work.

Cinema-wise I managed to see A Christmas Carol in 3D. Frickin awesome. I also loved Up - how sad was the start though?? I may have to add that to our list of films that make us cry.

Music wise, I've been downloading basically every new album. Seriously, from Robbie Williams, Leona Lewis and Alexandra Burke to Seasick Steve, Editors, Julian Casablancas and, um, Rammstein. Actually, look up Rammstein live on YouTube - The Signals should defo get some of the pyrotechnics they use!

Take it easy dude.


At 24/11/09 2:40 pm, Blogger Lena said...

I was going to ask you about Thursday's gig - but you're not here? Where the hang can you be..?


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