I Read The News Today Oh Boy
So I start my new job today. I’ve thought long and hard about whether to write about it or not but then I realised that blogging is nothing if not a medium for shameless self promotion so why the hell not.
As of today (drum roll please) I am one of the weekly columnists in Scotland’s best selling daily newspaper, the Daily Record. Which, if you think about it real hard (and I have), means that as I type this, almost half a million people around the UK are potentially trying to keep their breakfasts down as they open their daily paper and see my smug coupon beaming up at them on page 18. (Michael Jackson is on pages 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-10, and is even on pages 50-52 denying a rumoured transfer move to Rangers.)
The column is intended to be a lighthearted, observational piece about anything and everything as seen through my (increasingly bloodshot) 40+ year old eyes. It could be a two week or a two year gig, who knows, bought hopefully you’ll all buy the paper and then submit a letter to the editor demanding that he triple my salary immediately in case some other publication swoops in and snaps me up.
Right, gotta run. Only five days left before I have to submit next week’s “Shock, Sensation, Exclusive!”
“Neil Gets Up Before Noon, Shocker!”
“Neil Ate My Hamster! And Everything Else He Ever Sees!”
“Sensational! My Long Hot Baths With Soapy Neil!” claims shampoo bottle.
“My Hot Nights With Jordan!!!… and Dalglish and Strachan and Law…”
As of today (drum roll please) I am one of the weekly columnists in Scotland’s best selling daily newspaper, the Daily Record. Which, if you think about it real hard (and I have), means that as I type this, almost half a million people around the UK are potentially trying to keep their breakfasts down as they open their daily paper and see my smug coupon beaming up at them on page 18. (Michael Jackson is on pages 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-10, and is even on pages 50-52 denying a rumoured transfer move to Rangers.)
The column is intended to be a lighthearted, observational piece about anything and everything as seen through my (increasingly bloodshot) 40+ year old eyes. It could be a two week or a two year gig, who knows, bought hopefully you’ll all buy the paper and then submit a letter to the editor demanding that he triple my salary immediately in case some other publication swoops in and snaps me up.
Right, gotta run. Only five days left before I have to submit next week’s “Shock, Sensation, Exclusive!”
“Neil Gets Up Before Noon, Shocker!”
“Neil Ate My Hamster! And Everything Else He Ever Sees!”
“Sensational! My Long Hot Baths With Soapy Neil!” claims shampoo bottle.
“My Hot Nights With Jordan!!!… and Dalglish and Strachan and Law…”
posted by Neil @ 7:45 am
3 comments
3 Comments:
You're a very gracious man Tom. To have a pint raised in one's honour is a specail thing. Cheers.
I meant 'special', obviously.
Neil,
Nice one, even read this weeks.
What's the photo all about? I've carried out a survey 90% mentioned the word " scary".Any comeback?
DC
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