Saturday, December 24, 2005

Maybe Next Year

I had a whole week’s worth of blogging exclusives mapped out in my head but the week came and went and there was hardly time to scratch my arse never mind spank my penguin. Or type stuff.

The disclosures were going to tell of my recent discovery of an ancient blog; some 2,000 years old written by a simple man called Joe. Admittedly, my ancient Aramaic is a bit rusty but translating the worn parchments has been a revelation of biblical proportions – an insightful insight into the lives of an ancient people living in ancient times but enduring similar day-to-day stresses and dilemmas to those we still experience today. Things such as…

· How securing last minute travel and accommodation deals at this time of year can be a real bitch.
· Having to grin and bear it when unexpected visitors arrive unannounced dragging with them their precious pets and bringing crap gifts that they’ve obviously picked up as an afterthought at the trading station down the road. I mean frankincense for Christ’s sake. What is THAT all about?
· And why is it that your moody wife, who’s always complaining of headaches, doesn’t have a reasonable explanation as to why she’s knocked up.

Joey tells it all in far more lyrical and articulate prose than I can replicate in this short time slot so I’ll make it my project for 2006 and publish the Nazareth diaries in full this time next year.

Meantime, I’m hopping a flight in a few hours so it only remains for me to wish you all a very happy Christmas. Oh, and please don’t rob my house while I’m away.


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