Sunday, December 04, 2005

Sunday Statistical Supplement

Can you imagine working for a company that has little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics? Who could it possibly be?

· 29 have been accused of spousal abuse.
· 7 have been arrested for fraud.
· 19 have been accused of writing bad cheques.
· 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses.
· 3 have done time for assault.
· 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit.
· 14 have been arrested on drug related charges.
· 8 have been arrested for shoplifting.
· 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits.
· 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.

Say hello to the 535 members of the Unites States Congress, chief lawmakers of this land that was made for you and me.


I confess that I didn’t research this satirical scoop since it was included in a letter – an ACTUAL letter written on ACTUAL paper no less – sent to me by my Uncle Hamish in Illinois. (His wife Annie makes the best breakfast in America by the way.) As you can see though, that hasn’t stopped me publishing it nor will it stop me taking the credit when the inevitable phone call from the Daily Show arrives offering me a six figure sum to take over as Head Writer.

2 Comments:

At 5/12/05 7:16 pm, Blogger DC said...

Neil,
Perhaps the good Congressmen/women would like this one:

Q - Did you hear about the lonely prisoner?

A - He was in his cell !!!

DC

 
At 3/1/06 1:25 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a Pres, who as the Gov, was able to achieve the monumental task of going through the largest budget surplus in the state of Texas in just 6 months? Ain't we got fun? ok, maybe not but he fits in with the rest of the crowd

 

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