Now iGet It

Since I came home from the States a couple of weeks ago – after successfully completing my gig as The Best Best Man In The World. Ever. – I’ve been constantly coughing and spluttering and expelling all manner of lovely green mucus-type expectorations from my nose and throat. At first I thought this was due to the punishment my system endured through constant exposure to long flights, sun stroke, heavy drinking, red meat, duty free cigarettes, late nights, early tee times and seriously dangerous levels of caffeine.

But now I’m thinking that walking down Main Street in a kilt under the blaze of a hot Texas sun was perhaps not the smartest of ideas especially when this was immediately followed by the sweet merciful relief of discovering a cooling mechanism designed specifically to refresh the parts that other cooling mechanisms just can’t reach.

However, I’m not one of those men who declares “man-flu” at the first hint of a sore eyelash (unless there’s a week-long X-Files marathon on the Sci-Fi Channel) so I’ve been finding ways to keep my spirits up in these trying times. And last Thursday evening I discovered a whole new world of fabulous entertainmentismness when I began playing with my new iPod.

It’s fair to say that in the past I’ve been largely ambivalent (and sometimes downright disparaging; although I was mad at everyone that week) about the iPod phenomenon and I’ve never had the urge to jump in and find out what all the fuss is about. But as a ‘thank you’ for my sterling work as The Best Best Man Ever, my brother Keith and his new bride Kathryn generously presented me with a gift of a cute little green iPod Shuffle to help me “take my first baby steps” in this new technological frontier.

And I have to say I’m fairly smitten with the whole experience. Even the small, clear plastic packaging with its rounded corners and seductive font is gorgeous to look at and lovely to fondle. Not to mention the intimate, on-line encounter that is downloading iTunes. I’ve rarely felt more loved and appreciated by the internet as every pop-up instruction box in the download process seemed to be delivered by a velvet-tongued Geisha, desperate to see to my every need.

“Would you like me to autofill your device with a randomly selected collection of favourite tunes?” she asked breathlessly at one point. “And while I’m at it, perhaps I could bathe you in a heavenly blend of sandalwood and ginseng and ‘refresh’ the parts that other on-line pop-up boxes can’t reach?”

I declined politely since I’ve been dating a pop-box on a different site for several months now, but if that doesn’t work out then I’m definitely coming back for more. In fact, I’m toying with the idea of filling up the iPod with 240 songs from 240 different artists, not only to maximise the excellent shuffle mode, but also because I can be guaranteed another 240 pop-up proposals.

Meantime, I’m content in the knowledge that if my recent fashion choice of denim jacket and dog tags wasn’t alluring enough, the addition of my iPod has rendered the Dangerous Rock God look complete. Man, just wait till the chicks at Sudoku Club get an eyeful of this next week. Rock ‘n roll baby.