Whit's THAT Aw Aboot? 3

So… let’s imagine for a moment that you DON’T own an iPod or similar device for playing downloaded music and there are still stores in existence for the business of selling CDs, just like back in the good old days of yore around 2002. And let’s say you’ve purchased a CD and are sitting on the bus on the way home listening to it on your Discman (if you have the strength to carry such a behemoth), the involuntary tapping of your foot and nodding of your head confirming how right you were to make this particular purchase.

And let’s picture the scene as you arrive home and place the CD back in its case ready for filing in strict alphabetical order. You’re looking down on the CD cover and then you cock your head to the right in order to read the details on the spine only to find that the details have been inverted and read from BOTTOM TO TOP. Whit the f#ck is THAT aw aboot? And more importantly, whit do you do next, besides visiting the chiropractor to fix the carnage of having violently thrown your head from right to left. Do you just file it as it is? Or back to front? Or, God forbid, upside down?

Anyway, that isn’t really what I wanted to tell you about. Last night I had a dream… that one day people of all creeds and colours would… no, scratch that. In the dream I had seven fatted calves and the fields were full of nature’s bounty and… no, scratch that.

Seriously, in the dream I was standing in Times Square trying desperately to hail a cab for the airport when I heard someone say that Snow Patrol had just released a new album. Instantly forgetting how late I was for making my flight, I ran into the big Virgin Megastore and started searching. When I found it, the CD only contained eight songs, all of which had been written as some kind of anti-war protest. (Don’t know why that’s relevant.) However, in a miscalculated effort to appease the public and give them value for money, the record company had bundled the CD together with ‘classic albums’ from the 80s (Big Country, The Thompson Twins???) in those chunky double CD cases, much like they sometimes do with DVDs/videos.

As I glanced my eye over the spines of the CD cases and perused all the ‘classic’ options on offer, the ONLY thing I could think about was “how the f#ck am I going to file this at home?” Not only that; this bothered me so much that it WOKE ME UP! Whit’s THAT aw aboot?

Anyway, now that I’ve got it off my chest so early in the day, I can see a lovely afternoon nap looming in my immediate future. Oh and while we’re on the subject… I don’t care how often you write in with your own suggestions, I’m telling you right now that Snow Patrol’s ‘Chasing Cars’ is the song of the year, BAR NONE! ‘N that’s all I gotta say ‘bout that…