You Know You Make Me Wanna SHOUT

I’m keeping this brief today ‘cause I have to go and attend a job interview later. Meantime, amuse yourself with this classic Scottish yarn.

Sean Connery is being interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and is bragging that despite his 72 years of age, he can still have ‘shex’ three times a night. Scots singing sensation Lulu, who is also a guest on the show, looks on intrigued. After the show, Lulu asks, “Sean, if Ah'm no bein' too forward, Ah'd love tae hae sax wi an aulder man. Let's go back tae mah place.”

So they go back to her place and have great sex. Afterwards, Sean says, “If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have even better shex later... but while I'm shleepin’, can you hold my baws in your left hand and my willie in your right.”

He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and true to his word, they have even better sex than the first time. Then Sean says, “That was truly wonderful darling, but if you let me shleep for an hour thish time, we can have the besht shex yet. But again, you must hold my baws in your left hand and my wullie in your right.”

Lulu is now used to the routine and complies - the results are mind blowing once more. Once it's all over, and the cigarettes are duly lit, Lulu enquires, “Sean, tell me, dis mah haudin yer baws in mah left hand and yer wullie in mah right stimulate ye while yr sleepin?”

Sean replies, “No. But the lasht time I shlept with a Glashwegian, she shtole ma wallet.”