Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Tartan Shorts 12

Strange Retail Experience Of The Week
Due to the unavailability of my friend Gordon to play golf yesterday, I went down to the local High Street to make a visit to the post office for my pal Bruce. (By the way Bruce – the woman gave me a strange look when your return item in the plain brown package started to buzz!) Anyway, I took the opportunity to pop into the bakers next door to purchase some lovely potato scones but they only had five left. Try as I might, I couldn’t bring myself to ask for an ODD NUMBER of breaded goods so I emerged from the shop with only four. Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever gone into a bakers and said, “I’ll take seven soft rolls please.”?

Best Television Of The Week
I’ve read some newspaper reviews saying he’s just not amusing anymore but last week’s episode of Ricky Gervais’s Extras was laugh-out-loud, hide-behind-the-Ikea-throw-cushion funny. Cleverly, all the best lines are delivered by the supporting cast, not least of which was Stephen Merchant’s “punching the mongoloid” observation.

Most Disappointing Television Of The Week
Cracker – The plot was rubbish (are there only half a dozen policemen in the whole of Manchester?), the tension was negligible and, criminally, there was no appearance from the Dana Scully of British police drama, DS Penhaligon. At least Robbie Coltrane was good. Let’s hope the return of Helen Mirren in Prime Suspect later this month is more engaging*.

Incidentally, if you can tell me the connection (without looking it up) between Robbie Coltrane and the actress who played Penhaligon (apart from the fact they were both in Cracker) then congratulations – you’re as geeky as me.

*Doesn’t necessarily mean she has to get her kit off… unless it’s integral to the plot. Ooh there’s a good idea – Top Ten Films In Which Helen Mirren Gets Her Kit Off

Birthday Of The Week
Sting was 50-something yesterday but I’m reluctant to mark this as any cause for celebration, such is the dread I have for his forthcoming album of 17th century lute music. Instead let’s celebrate the birth of Stephen (or is it Steven?) Kirk who was born at around 11am on Sunday morning to my good friends Graeme & Elaine and immediately opened his eyes and asked his father whether Celtic had won the league yet. “Patience son,” came the soothing reply. “We’ll celebrate at Christmas.”

Funniest Internet Photo Of The Week
I was casually checking divorce rates on Friends Reunited the other day when I came across this photo from 1985 showing the prefects (what’s the US equivalent – hall monitors?) at my old high school. On the face of it, (excluding the hairstyles and the WHITE SOCKS) the photo isn’t particularly hilarious but it made me smile because the handsome young man in the top left hand corner is my wee brother Keith. And the guy standing two places along from him with the World’s Biggest Earlobes, is Scotland’s foremost sports writer, Gordon Waddell of the Sunday Mail. Sorry pal, but it serves you right for not playing golf yesterday!


At 3/10/06 10:11 pm, Blogger bunnybelly said...

i was just feeling bad that you didn't have any comments. keep up the good work, neil and congrats on making it this far in the one post a day! :-) there, that should hold you over for a few more posts....

At 4/10/06 10:22 pm, Blogger Lesley said...

Those really are very big earlobes.


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