Something For The Weekend 5(b)

In contrast, this second instalment, featuring three-time Annual Golf Outing champion Neil, shows the correct method for achieving perfection (excluding fashion choices) on the golf course. While we can marvel at the outward demonstration of perfect ball-striking, it’s only once we climb inside his head that we discover the real secret to attaining full golf self-actualisation…

Shot 1: “You know… hitting the perfect golf shot is rather like making love to a beautiful woman… start by focussing in tight on your intended target and exude an oily smooth tempo with long, languid strokes to attain your optimum rhythm. Maintain this as you move back and through and on completion, strike an athletic pose with a perfectly arched back as the results of your effort sail majestically down the middle.”

Shot 2: “See Shot 1…”

So there you go Dave. I hope this lesson helps calm you down on the golf course this year and you’ll enjoy many a round without wondering where your playing partners have run off to. Oh, and if you get a chance, can you lend me that black strappy number you wore to your High School disco. Cheers.