Something For The Weekend 26

Well Dave… it would appear that this site has just turned into a weekly dispatch to your good self, occasionally offering some suggestions as to how you could productively wile away your weekend hours rather than staying at home and practicing that excitable little effeminate handclap of yours.

There was a time when I used to have opinions and observations about other stuff… stuff like how come all the smart people who design mobile communication technology still can’t come up with an easy way to get the back off a cell phone? And don’t get me started on the so-called charities who post plastic bags through my door on a daily basis, advise me to fill it with unwanted Birmingham Bags (ask Blousie) from the 70s (like I’d ever throw THEM away) and leave it on the doorstep and then DON’T BOTHER THEIR WHALE-SAVIN’, FAMINE-RELIEVIN’ DO-GOOD ARSES to come back and pick it up.

Anyway, I’m probably still a bit tired and emotional after the trauma of watching Sergio NOT capture the Open title last Sunday. I was pleased to see Anyone-But-Tiger win but I was living and breathing every second of the agony of his wayward drives and missed putts. In fact I was so exhausted afterwards that I had to go to my bed early and could only manage a couple of chapters of Harry Potter & The Unfeasibly High Body Count before my heavy eyes fell shut.

As for this weekend, there is only one important thing to tell you about. Tonight, after eight long years away from the rock ‘n roll fast lane, The Signals will kick off their slippers and put down their copies of People’s Friend and – after making responsible childcare arrangements and punching the venue address into their sat-navs – will take the stage once again to unleash their unique brand of face-meltin’ rock.

You’ll be pleased to know that final rehearsals on Wednesday went well, not counting that awkward moment when the bass player called a halt to proceedings to instigate a frank debate as to whether his prostate management routine was in line with generally accepted medical recommendations. Sure, it’s a valid concern but there’s a time and a place…

With any luck, I might be able to get tonight’s short, 30-40 minute performance videotaped and once I’ve added the hysterical crowd noises and overdubbed the bum notes, it may well appear somewhere on the interweb. Remember, the gig is for charity and there are other bands playing also so it should be a great night. If you can make it along, I look forward to seeing you and witnessing the aforementioned handclap. If you can’t, here’s a wee taster of what you’ll be missing… rock ‘n roll AND levitation!!!