I'll Take That TO GO!

People often say to me, “You know Neil… with your cheery disposition, selfless and tireless work for others and totally reasonable attitude when competing in the white heat of the sporting arena, you must have had some truly great days in your life… but what was the best day ever?”

Before replying, I’ll usually go through the motions of stroking my beard and casting my eyes upwards to give the impression that I’m sifting through a mental database of literally hundreds of possible answers, before spouting something understated and modest like, “I suppose getting Mandella free was a bit of a coup,” or “when Gillian Anderson and I were both in Glasgow on the same day.”

But from now on when I’m asked that question, my eyes will light up in a crazed-like manner and I will, without hesitation, reply “Tuesday June 12th 2007… ‘cause that was the day when Starbucks opened a new branch IN MY FRICKIN’ OFFICE BUILDING!!!”

Talk about the mountain coming to Muhammed Ali… talk about the dealers hanging round the school playground… talk about anything you like for the next 72 hours because I will be wide awake throughout, floating high on a deadly cocktail of caffeine, nicotine and creamy, caramely coffee goodness. So what if it’s a fiendish conspiracy between two large corporations to ensure workers stay alert for longer… I, for one, will not mind working the occasional longer day until 3.30 if it means the Candyman keeps bringing me all that good stuff.

Anyway, lots to do, plenty of energy to do it and a special screening of my new Finding Nemo DVD to look forward to later on… “just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”