Wednesday, December 24, 2008

'Twas The Whatsit Before Thingumy...

Many thanks to all who answered the call last week and overwhelmed my mailbox clutching sweaty, hand-typed submissions for this website, eyebrows raised eagerly to the ceiling hoping they’d be picked first for the football team and not left twiddling thumbs and staring down at their black, elasticated gym shoes, stained with sherbet dip from the lucky bag they got for their birthday from their granny. (Christ, I need a cigarette; 7 weeks now.)

Obviously, we’ve now moved into Phase 2 – “Clean & Correction” – of the ten phase selection process where submissions will be made presentable for the panel of esteemed judges; those of you think a semi-colon is some kind of wanton punctuation-floozie which can be tarted around liberally without a moral thought for relevance or appropriateness need to have a long hard look at yourself. Mind you, I will just give a quick “wink” to the submittee who relayed a fascinating and descriptive account of a 4am – 5am encounter pinpointing it a “highlight of the year”. I concur and so I think it’s safe to say you’re a shoe-in… ;)

Elsewhere… well, it’s 3:30pm on Christmas Eve and I’m still working, albeit from home. This is the first time I’ve had all the proper “connectivity” to work “properly” from home and it’s fantastic – you just get so much more done at your own pace. So far today, I’ve done a wee bit of ironing, been for a “jog”, watched last night’s Christmas episode of “Lead Balloon” and eaten some left over pizza. And working from home means I can wander round the place half-naked, scratching my balls whenever I want without fear of disdain and reprimand from my work colleagues, like what I usually endure when I carry out those activities in the office.

As usual, I left all my Christmas shopping to the last minute but thankfully our family have a wonderful Secret Santa arrangement which means we don’t spend stupid amounts of money on things we don’t need and concentrate instead on getting gifts for the young children (allowing me to spend many enjoyable hours in the Early Learning Centre) and arranging one main gift for whichever “adult” we get in the Secret Santa draw. This year, I’ve even crafted part of the gift myself and without giving too much away, I’m sure my sister will love the hand-made ironing board I created out of old lightsabers and MDF. (Girls like ironing, right?)

Anyway, I think this will be the last submission here for 2008 so I hope you all have a very happy *insert politically-correct holiday descriptor here* and come back and visit in 2009 when I’ll have some news for you.


At 24/12/08 3:56 pm, Anonymous WW said...

oh i do hope the news isn't that you're getting married...that would just crush all of my hopes and dreams would i go on living knowing that that "chance" just isn't there anymore!?!?!?

At 24/12/08 8:37 pm, Blogger Neil said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahh... that's a good one Wendi.

Rest assured, the "chance" will always be there if you want it... despite our "slight" age difference. Merry Christmas! xx

At 25/12/08 2:53 pm, Anonymous WW said... life can continue on as before...i wish "THIS" close to a breakdown neily...on CHRISTMAS!!!! Have a good one!!!

At 25/12/08 2:54 pm, Anonymous WW said...


Was...not wish..duh...too much egg nog...i haven't even started on the champagne yet!!

At 29/12/08 4:48 pm, Blogger Duey said...

Wait! There was "leftover pizza" in your home? Seriously, this not having a cigarette thing has changed you greatly. This is only allowable if it's leftovers from the SECOND pizza ordered for the night.

At 30/12/08 10:21 pm, Blogger Lesley said...

And a happy whatsit to you too.

At 31/12/08 7:45 pm, Anonymous WW said...

happy new year!!!

At 9/1/09 7:43 am, Blogger Neil said...

Brian: To clarify... the leftover pizza wasn't mine. We'd ordered some for lunch in the office and as usual, the girls' eyes and appetites were bigger than their stomachs which meant I swept up the remainder and took it home.

Ladies: A very Happy New Year to you both. x


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