Friday, January 30, 2009

Dear *Insert Your Name Here*

Wow, I really don’t write much on this blog anymore, do I? When I joked last time about my “regular bi-monthly updates”, I didn’t think that would actually turn out to be true. And sure, I promised to give a full account of the Soup Tins Alphabetisation project but honestly, I haven’t had time to complete it yet so for all I know the kitchen cupboard could be full of tins with labels pointing the wrong way and Tomato sitting TO THE LEFT of Lentil and.. and.. and.. f#ck.. chest.. pain.. need.. paper.. bag.. blow.. in..

Sorry about that... little ‘episode’ there... I know, I know… you’re sitting shaking your head and wondering what the hell I was thinking leaving such a crucial assignment unattended and incomplete and don’t I know that’s a visit to the emergency room waiting to happen? I’m all better now after strapping on the oxygen mask and visiting the kitchen to sort things out. Rest assured the Tomato/Lentil carnage has been rectified. But don’t get me started on the trouble I had with the Ham & Pea.

Anyway, to either of my readers who think I’ve just been idle these past four weeks let me say this in the strongest and most unequivocal terms I can muster… I have not been idle these past four weeks. In fact I have done more writing elsewhere these past four weeks than I have here for the past four months. In case you missed it – or haven’t yet received an annoying email from me begging for money – I’ve been writing on a new blog called

to document my experience of training for the Flora London Marathon in April this year. Go on, check it out, there’s tons of stuff there. But that, plus the actual training, is going to be keeping me quite busy for the next three months.

However, here’s a little idea that might get me writing here more often if I get some help from you. Not you, Wendi in TX, who’s idea this really is, but you, the other reader who’s probably here today thinking, “Right, I’m gonna give him one more chance but if he hasn’t provided that soup tins update, I’m off to find someone who blogs about their cat.”

Wendi got in touch with me recently asking, “How come that foppish Dave gets all your attention and you never start one of your posts ‘Dear Wendi’? If you ever do, then I’ll totally dump my Scouser boyfriend and fly out to Scotland in a heartbeat to visit you, despite these challenging economic times and the hassle of making emergency childcare arrangements.” Those might not have been her exact words but I was reading between, behind and underneath the lines so I knew what she really meant.

I often find it much easier to write here if I think of it as writing a letter to someone specific – as I do for Dave now and again – rather than just launching into a generic “you’ll never guess what my cat did this week” or “I’m so angry / happy / frustrated / glad / outraged about the whole Gaza situation - such a great footballer in the 90s” or “why oh why won’t women turn into pizzas after sex?”

So if you’d like me to ‘write you a letter’ just drop me a line or a comment to let me know (along with your name and at least a couple of details about yourself if we’ve never met) and we’ll see what we can come up with. I’m not promising a fast turnaround (because that always makes me dizzy) but with any luck the result will hopefully be a little bit me, a little bit you… as The Monkees would say.


At 30/1/09 8:37 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

me please me please me please

xxxx x

At 30/1/09 1:29 pm, Anonymous WW said...

that's it neaily, we're not friends anymore...MEN...argh

At 7/2/09 1:11 pm, Anonymous ww said...

ha ha ha...i just laughed my ass off neily. Nice save.


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