Life Is A Minestrone
One of the curious side effects of being unemployed for four… sh#t, no… FIVE months is that friends and acquaintances always seem to be on hand to suggest “little projects” to help fill my days. (As if all the intensive beard-growing and CD-cataloguing wasn’t time consuming enough!)
I’m well aware that these “projects” seem to benefit the requestor more than they do me but they (the projects) have been fairly undemanding so I haven’t really minded doing all the painting and grass-cutting and bush-trimming and Post Office-visiting and dog-walking etc. Mind you, that recent request from my Russian friends to Wear Gloves, Deliver Package, Run Like F#ck was a bit of a strange one.
This week’s “little project” was presented to me on Tuesday evening when I was summoned round to the house of my good friend Bruce and his lovely, glowing wife, Crazy Pregnant Poker Queen. Having long known of my reputation as World’s Greatest Mix Tape Creator they had a special commission in mind for me which I’m now going to throw over to you for your invaluable, specialist input.
Regular readers will remember that last month’s Great Music Debate centred around the sticky issue of what songs you’d most like to hear while you’re… ahem… “seeing a few friends off to the coast”. While I could identify with that particular predicament, this new commission is slightly further off my radar. So…
What songs would you most like to hear/are most appropriate WHEN YOU’RE IN LABOUR?
Relaxing chill out-type stuff? Foot-tapping gangsta rap? Whale calls? Waves Crashing? Monks chanting?
Given that this is their first child, I suppose we could be looking at a ten-disc box set but I’m not going to dwell on the subject of extended labour too much because another friend once described the birth of his first son to me and when he got to the phrase “pelvic separation” I nearly fainted.
If you get a chance to let me know your thoughts sometime I’d be much obliged. Oh and if you're reading this Bruce, don't feel too bad that you went "all in" with a full house; there's no possible way you could've guessed that I had FOUR 7s!!!
I’m well aware that these “projects” seem to benefit the requestor more than they do me but they (the projects) have been fairly undemanding so I haven’t really minded doing all the painting and grass-cutting and bush-trimming and Post Office-visiting and dog-walking etc. Mind you, that recent request from my Russian friends to Wear Gloves, Deliver Package, Run Like F#ck was a bit of a strange one.
This week’s “little project” was presented to me on Tuesday evening when I was summoned round to the house of my good friend Bruce and his lovely, glowing wife, Crazy Pregnant Poker Queen. Having long known of my reputation as World’s Greatest Mix Tape Creator they had a special commission in mind for me which I’m now going to throw over to you for your invaluable, specialist input.
Regular readers will remember that last month’s Great Music Debate centred around the sticky issue of what songs you’d most like to hear while you’re… ahem… “seeing a few friends off to the coast”. While I could identify with that particular predicament, this new commission is slightly further off my radar. So…
What songs would you most like to hear/are most appropriate WHEN YOU’RE IN LABOUR?
Relaxing chill out-type stuff? Foot-tapping gangsta rap? Whale calls? Waves Crashing? Monks chanting?
Given that this is their first child, I suppose we could be looking at a ten-disc box set but I’m not going to dwell on the subject of extended labour too much because another friend once described the birth of his first son to me and when he got to the phrase “pelvic separation” I nearly fainted.
If you get a chance to let me know your thoughts sometime I’d be much obliged. Oh and if you're reading this Bruce, don't feel too bad that you went "all in" with a full house; there's no possible way you could've guessed that I had FOUR 7s!!!
posted by Neil @ 11:27 pm
7 comments
7 Comments:
Well, I have no experience in this area, personally, but I'm always happy to give an opinion.
Is she expecting a Brown Eyed Girl?
Would Tainted Love be a bit harsh? (Soft Cell version, not Marilyn Manson)
But a rousing duet of Mockingbird is a must. (Carly Simon and James Taylor version, of course)
Soaps,
I'll need to think about this ..... right I've at least got a title for this unique( and not available in the shops ) collection:
" Music to Give Birth By ( Vol 1)"
1 Be my Baby
2 Baby Love
3 Baby Wont you Please Come Home
4 It started With a Kiss
5 Boom Bang -a- Bang
6 Don't Stand So Close To Me - RIGHT!!!
7 One For My Baby (& 5-6 For The Road)
8 Down Down
9 ( Hunk-a Hunka) Burnin' Love
10 Hello Dolly!
11 Love Hurts
12 That's Amore
13 Don't Leave me This way
14 Hurts So Good
15 It Takes Two, Baby.
Look out for Vol 2 - it may take some time, mind.
Strangely enough I have just been listening to the classic 10cc album How Dare You. Track 8 might be appropriate...
Headroom
"save a horse, ride a cowboy"
How about "It Only Hurts For A Little While" or "Twist and Shout"?
Definitely the Hallelujah Chorus for those seconds after they insert the epidural needle.
Not that women often get the chance to stick to the birth plan, here's my guide to musically see you through having a sprog:
(Through the contractions):
Here It Comes Again - THE FORTUNES.
All I Need Is The (Gas And) Air That I Breathe - THE HOLLIES.
(At the hubby as the pain worsens):
I Hate Everything About You - UGLY KID JOE.
D.I.V.O.R.C.E - TAMMY WYNETTE
(As the baby's coming down the birth canal):
Just A Little Bit Longer - THE FOUR SEASONS.
Upside Down - DIANA ROSS.
Turn - TRAVIS
(And when baby's here):
All Over Now - THE ROLLING STONES.
Signed, Sealed, Delivered - STEVIE WONDER
Born Innocent - THE PROCLAIMERS.
(As the proud parents hold their bundle):
The Miracle Of Love - EURYTHMICS.
Isn't She Lovely - STEVIE WONDER.
or
Baby Boy - BIG BRUVAZ
Best wishes to the parents to be. I'm sure you'll make a great babysitter Neil!
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