Friday, October 05, 2007

Something For The Weekend 30

Dear Dave,

I’m very sorry for not having written in a while. The reasons are many and varied but if I tell you that I went to give blood on Monday and the nice nurse only managed to pump out half a pint because the rest had already been sucked dry by… um… life, you start to get the picture.

It was my sincere hope to be able to bring you a graphically detailed review of Quentin Tarantino’s “Death Proof” this week but when I informed Bruce that our local multiplex wasn’t showing it until 9.30pm, he was all… “Aaawwww, that’s the time Linda starts making my cocoa” so we didn’t go and see it.

If you are looking for a film to see, please avoid the one I managed to catch on Film 4 the other night called “Keane”. This was the single most depressing film I’d seen since that one about the Polish girl who had to surrender one of her kids in a concentration camp – “Something About Mary” I think it was called – so I don’t want to even hint at the contents of the miserable plot about a schizophrenic, homeless, drug addict father whose daughter had been abducted, in case I start searching for a high window ledge. Again.

Anyway, on a cheerier note my Dyson suction machine thingy broke down this week due to the shock of being taken out of the kitchen cupboard and I also contrived to sell some of the shares I hold in the company of our mutual employer, the very instant before they shot up in price.

Still… mustn’t grumble… things could be worse. I have my health (after an emergency transfusion on Tuesday) and a roof over my head and my cool Police jacket. And of course, whenever I refuse to eat my Mum’s “broccoli surprise”, she always reminds me that little brown babies are starving in Rhodesia and Ceylon and the like, so I guess I dodged a bullet there. I had a Big Mac instead.

So apologies again Dave for not writing. I’ll try to do better next week, I promise. And if that doesn’t work, I think it’s about time we all went out and got sh#tfaced.

Cheers, Edge


At 5/10/07 8:17 am, Blogger Gordon said...

I completely concur. Tonight I plan to do just that. Hey, I'm only being polite, I mean if the company puts on a free bar it's rude NOT to get raving drunk and try and feel up the bosses daughter. Right?

At 5/10/07 1:12 pm, Blogger Donald said...

Poor Soapy,

The addition of a 2tatus Quo 1979 tour badge to your " Really Cool " jacket would probably cheer you up - unless there's one lurking /hidden already.

I feel a bit of poetry coming on, ahem....

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm a schizophrenic
and so am I

Chin chin


At 5/10/07 1:42 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yo Dude,

I have been reading the blog - apologies for the lack of comment and thanks for the return of the Dear Dave slot - I've been lost without it. Not much happening with myself. Golfed today with Fergie which was good, though the massive fry up after was better than the golf. Strangely I have also been reading Friday Night Lights. Can't get into it though so I'll wait until you finish it and you can sum it up for me in a pragraph with a couple of pictures. Music wise, Blousie has been keeping me up to date. Between the 2 of us we have many a new cd you would like which ties in nicely with your binge drinking proposal so lets try and get something sorted. Not been to the cinema for a while. Fancy that one with the rat who wants to be a top chef but he can't because he is a rat. Great story, sure to keep me amused. Anyway, I'm away to watch some new episodes of the Simpsons - oh, I see Ugly Betty returns this evening so that should cheer you up. Cheers, Dave

At 7/10/07 10:01 am, Blogger Peggy said...

Dysons can be repaired. If you haven't put the machine in the bin, call their number and have it fixed. It is so much cheaper and greener than having to buy a new one. I've had my ancient machine fixed more than once.

At 7/10/07 7:52 pm, Blogger Lena said...

Dyson is a good company to have purchased a hoover from - they do exchange no bother. Actually, hoovering while sh#tfaced makes the experience a whole lot more enjoyable.


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