For Sale... Awesomeness.. iticity...
Right then… I know I sometimes joke around on this website and have, in the past, been accused of just making stuff up for a cheap comedy interlude – that whole 2005 facade of being 40+, single and desperately on the lookout for a girlfriend / roommate / sudoku puzzle was especially amusing.
Believe it or not, some have even said to me that I must be using humour as some kind of “defence mechanism” so as not to reveal the contents of my “closed book” to a larger world. I think we can agree that if those same people had taken their, frankly, ludicrous accusations and locked them up tight in a box beside their innermost fears, childhood nightmares and crippling self-doubt and then buried it deep, deep down in the darkest reaches of their troubled psyches like I did, we’d all be a whole lot better off.
Anyway, the point of all that was to let you know that I have something serious to say (actually, ‘sell’ would be a more accurate verb) and I didn’t want anyone to poo-poo this plea as a mere whim; something to be smiled at and then wantonly discarded like a cheap suit worn by a fat man with sores on his face who had been punched in the stomach by a hook… eh… never mind.
Remember ages ago when I was going on and on and on and on and then on some more about The Police and the reunion tour and how I have tickets to go and see them play in Manchester, England on Monday October 15th 2007? You don’t? Well you can read about it here and here and here and here and then some more here.
I’m still going to the concert next month along with “a friend” (not YOU Dave) but I have two spare tickets that I was about to sell on eBay tonight until I thought to myself, “Christ, I can’t be arsed with all that form-filling and postage details and what not – I’ll just ask both readers instead.”
So if you’d like to go to this once-in-a-lifetime experience, or you know of anyone who would, please get in touch in the next few days before I return to the eBay option. If you are looking for selling points for associates and/or your own conscience, they are many and varied and include:
1. The seats are less than 20 rows from the front of the stage.
2. You’ll be sitting beside ME!
3. It’ll be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. (Unless you’re me, for whom it’ll be a third-time-in-a-lifetime experience.)
4. My sister saw them in London a couple of weeks ago and told me they were “awesome”. And she only ever uses that adjective for hard liquor… when it’s pronounced “aweshum”.
5. Yes, I paid £85 each for the tickets (but think what you’d pay for an evening with George Michael) but I’m prepared to sell at a slight discount since you’ve managed to read all the way down to here.
6. I promise it’s gonna be great and if you’re really, really lucky, you may get to see me pee my panties. If I remember to wear any.
On Friday evening I’m returning to the hassle of navigating eBay so you have until then to flex your address books and let me know of any interested parties. Go on… I’d much rather sell them to you.
N x
Believe it or not, some have even said to me that I must be using humour as some kind of “defence mechanism” so as not to reveal the contents of my “closed book” to a larger world. I think we can agree that if those same people had taken their, frankly, ludicrous accusations and locked them up tight in a box beside their innermost fears, childhood nightmares and crippling self-doubt and then buried it deep, deep down in the darkest reaches of their troubled psyches like I did, we’d all be a whole lot better off.
Anyway, the point of all that was to let you know that I have something serious to say (actually, ‘sell’ would be a more accurate verb) and I didn’t want anyone to poo-poo this plea as a mere whim; something to be smiled at and then wantonly discarded like a cheap suit worn by a fat man with sores on his face who had been punched in the stomach by a hook… eh… never mind.
Remember ages ago when I was going on and on and on and on and then on some more about The Police and the reunion tour and how I have tickets to go and see them play in Manchester, England on Monday October 15th 2007? You don’t? Well you can read about it here and here and here and here and then some more here.
I’m still going to the concert next month along with “a friend” (not YOU Dave) but I have two spare tickets that I was about to sell on eBay tonight until I thought to myself, “Christ, I can’t be arsed with all that form-filling and postage details and what not – I’ll just ask both readers instead.”
So if you’d like to go to this once-in-a-lifetime experience, or you know of anyone who would, please get in touch in the next few days before I return to the eBay option. If you are looking for selling points for associates and/or your own conscience, they are many and varied and include:
1. The seats are less than 20 rows from the front of the stage.
2. You’ll be sitting beside ME!
3. It’ll be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. (Unless you’re me, for whom it’ll be a third-time-in-a-lifetime experience.)
4. My sister saw them in London a couple of weeks ago and told me they were “awesome”. And she only ever uses that adjective for hard liquor… when it’s pronounced “aweshum”.
5. Yes, I paid £85 each for the tickets (but think what you’d pay for an evening with George Michael) but I’m prepared to sell at a slight discount since you’ve managed to read all the way down to here.
6. I promise it’s gonna be great and if you’re really, really lucky, you may get to see me pee my panties. If I remember to wear any.
On Friday evening I’m returning to the hassle of navigating eBay so you have until then to flex your address books and let me know of any interested parties. Go on… I’d much rather sell them to you.
N x
posted by Neil @ 12:01 am
6 comments
6 Comments:
My dear husband says that he saw them play at Barbarellas in Birmingham in 1978.
Hell I'm come with you! Although truth be told I'm not 100% sure about the urination factor. Anyway, saw the boys on the Synchronicity tour, Leeds Queens Hall. Sting probably remembers me of course.
Hazel - seriously? If so, drop me an email (neil@neilwritestheworld.com) to negotiate special rates... i.e. minus the urination factor.
Aren't you writing to Dave on Fridays anymore? My name isn't Dave, but I did like prying into Dave's personal correspondence.
Dave's life lessons will return... some day.
An Evening with George Michael might just cost you an overnight in jail. Great use of the English language in writing that line!!
The Police played two nights at Wrigley Field in Chicago (only Jimmy Buffet has played there prior) so it was a "very special show" but one I couldn't afford. I heard it was fantastic though. Enjoy!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home